I feel this challenge is getting off to an incredibly slow start for me. My current motivation is finding and securing a job. I have a really good resume but the simplest of jobs are seeming to elude me. Though one is starting to come to the forefront and hope is there. It will certainly be physical and demanding is what I want, a challenge. I had worked desk jobs in the past and found them so taxing I found myself gaining weight, depressed, and lacking in motivation. So I am hoping this one comes through. I am still applying for at least one a day though.
As for Ares, I hope to seek his strength, vigor, and motivation to capture what is slipping away it feels. My lack of self-confidence, energy, giving way to atrophy in so many ways. Letting others walk over me time and time again. All through my life it has been a struggle, just to feel normal and assured as others appear to be. Having taken many verbal and sometimes physical beat downs as a child, I can see where many of my issues stem from. Well in my research with Ares, he is not allowing it and has no place. He is saying to let that be the fabric of my cloak I wear into battle. Let the tears of my soul show and never hide my scars. They are testments of living and endurance. I hear his words, yet believing in them is something else.
So today I begin again. I called unto Lord Ares, his messages clear and cut to the heart. Here is what he had to say to me today.
"You have grown fat and reak of self-deceit. Do not rest on your laurels of the past, though they bear your triumphs, they mean nothing today. Every day the battle is anew. I will break you on my wheel, only then will you be strong enough to move forward. You have grown selfish and need to let go and be prepared to sacrifice in order to gain what you truly need."
I use tarot and meditation in my practice, opening a portal to Ares, invoking, hearing his message, reflecting, then closing and departure.
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